After a short break, I’m really delighted today to be joining the blog tour for Does My Bump Look Big In This? by Amy Lynch, published 29th September for kindle and in paperback. If I wasn’t struggling with my reading at the moment, I would have so LOVED to read this one…
The mother of all comedies is due…
Newlyweds Barry and Becky are just back from their tropical honeymoon. The tans are gorgeous, and it was five star luxury all the way. But there’s been a problem. Barry’s desperate for a baby, and Becky’s not quite so keen.
Surrounded by pregnant friends and a mother who’s talking about the ticking of invisible biological clocks, Becky starts to feel the pressure. When a surprise pregnancy rocks the boat, Becky’s friends and family are rooting for her all the way. Will she navigate the choppy waters to motherhood? Will she survive antenatal classes? Can she avoid stretchmarks, indigestion and her dreaded boss?
And most importantly of all… does her bump look big in this?
In the absence of a review, here’s a wonderful extract for you to enjoy…
I call Barry in a panic.
‘Barry, you need to come home this minute.’
‘Jesus, has it started? I can be there in, like, ten minutes…’
‘Don’t be stupid, Barry. I’m not in labour.’
‘Oh? Something wrong, Becks?’
‘Yes, Barry. Something’s wrong. Have you failed to notice that our house resembles a homeless man’s armpit? Has it escaped your attention that we are about to bring a helpless infant into this den of germs?’
‘Well, I mean, it needs a damn good tidy, but… listen, Becks. I’m at work now, so can we chat about this later?’
‘No we cannot. Later might be too late. Later, I might be pushing our baby into the world. Later, I might be in excruciating pain. Later…’
‘OK, I get it.’
‘Did you see how filthy the curtains are? And I don’t think the stains on the landing carpet are going to come out. And, Barry, I think that we need to replace the tiles in the kitchen. They’re too dirty to clean.’
‘Sounds like a serious case of nesting. That’s a good sign, I hear.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous, Barry. This has nothing to do with nesting. I’m not a flipping bird for Christ’s sake! I’m telling you Barry, I looked around and it’s like our house was suddenly invaded by aliens overnight. Very messy, filthy, litter bug aliens!’
I can hear Barry talking to someone in the background. His hand is over the mouthpiece, trying to muffle the conversation, but he is fooling no-one.
‘Everything’s fine. I’ll be back into the meeting in two secs. OK.’
His hand is off the mouthpiece now.
‘Becks. Listen, relax. I’ll ask mum to pop round. Give you a hand.’
‘Eh, no you will not. No way. I’m not having my mother in law discovering my secret shame, Barry. There’s a new programme on Channel Four just like that. Will you organize a cleaner? I’ll supervise. I’m good at supervising.’
‘Becks, we can’t go splashing out on cleaners right now.’
‘Oh, fine! FINE! I’ll just pop up on the roof and fix the loose slate, shall I? Absolutely. Oh, and I’ll defrost the freezer on my hands and knees while I’m at it, eh? I can scrub the carpets by hand. No problem!’
‘Rebecca. I’m at work. Chat later. I’ll call mum.’
Click!
‘No!’It’s too late. The eejit has hung up on me! And me with child, and everything! That’s strike one! I will Google DIY-divorce later, he is really asking for it. Any judge in the land will see my side of the story. He might even have to face a prison sentence for cruelty to a pregnant person. That would be just smashing.
A bed of sweat is forming on my forehead. Bear in mind that it’s March and about two degrees outside. That’s panic sweat, if ever I saw it. His mother only lives ten minutes away. She could arrive here and discover my horror home before you can say ‘lime scale’. I mean, this is the reason I don’t invite in-laws around! I don’t like cleaning! I dial Barry back, but he doesn’t answer. His mobile is engaged. That means he’s talking to her right now! That’s strike two!
Within five minutes, I’m dressed. I’m not taking any chances that my mother in law will not only discover my dust bowl house, but will find me in my pyjamas at lunchtime. I race around like an escaped lunatic.
Thanks Amy. So many people loved your last book – wishing you every success with this one!
About the author
Amy is an Irish author of romance, comedy and women’s fiction. Her debut novel Bride Without a Groom launched with Avon, Harper Collins in May 2015.
Amy lives in Wicklow, Ireland with her husband, two young children and two rescue dogs, Bella and Roly. When she is not writing, she can be found juggling school runs, and dithering on Facebook.
You can find out more about Amy by following her on Twitter or Facebook and by reading her website.